The Road to Middoni: Learning to Sustain a Living Prophet (Preface)

In the coming weeks, I'll be posting in serial form a narrative I've been writing that is the culmination of many years of effort, both mental and spiritual, to understand the role of prophets, their relationship to God, and my relationship to them. I'll try to tailor each segment to be blog-readable. I welcome your comments.

Today, I'll post the preface that gives some background into the genesis of this project. I'll then post weekly until I've inflicted the whole darn thing on the internet.

Preface

I began thinking about this book several years ago, in the throes of Proposition 8. If  you’re unfamiliar with the term “Proposition 8,” let me give some brief background. Proposition 8 was a voter-determined proposal to amend the California state constitution to include a clause stipulating that marriage could only be defined as a union between a man and a woman. Needless to say, that type of specificity in that type of document troubled many, including me. I took no public stance (since I did not live in California) but counted myself among those opposed to the amendment.

This wasn’t to say that I did not believe in the sanctity of marriage between a man and woman. I just did not believe that popular will should determine an amendment that seemed likely to curtail the rights of perhaps the nation’s worst-persecuted minority, homosexual couples. In fact, I had a hard time seeing what was wrong with gay marriage and still do.

Thus, you can imagine my inner turmoil when the church leadership in my married student ward in Provo, Utah announced that the church was asking all its members in Utah to engage in a social media campaign to publicly support the amendment. What’s more, the leaders encouraged us to contribute financially to action committees in California running ads and funding grassroots attempts to sway the electorate towards supporting the marriage amendment.

I still find it difficult to put into words the sadness and confusion I felt at that time. The Lord, through his representatives, was asking me to do something that I found profoundly distasteful, misanthropic, and plain mean. My anguish was further confounded by the seeming glee demonstrated by many of my fellow brothers and sisters of the church. At last, it seemed, they had received sanction to express in political terms their visceral distaste for gays. Unfortunately, this unwelcome side effect of the Proposition 8 coordinated action has had a bitter effect to this day.

I wrestled, not for the first time during that period, with serious spiritual decisions. Did I sustain the prophet? You may remember that Proposition 8 occurred shortly after the passing of President Gordon B. Hinckley, a man I loved deeply, and a man well known for being a voice for compassion, charity, and understanding. President Thomas S. Monson, a voice and presence I had known and loved for years as a leading elder in the church, had recently ascended to the position of President of the Church, inheriting the prophetic mantle and responsibility from President Hinckley.

It was quite easy to jump to the conclusion that perhaps, at long last, I was witnessing a prophetic mistake on par with Brigham Young’s barring of black men from the priesthood because of their skin color and dubious biblical heritage. Or, even worse, that I had been participating for the last several decades of my life in a farcical religious fraud where wise old men whispered platitudes from an opulent conference center, soothing our souls and welcoming our hard-earned cash.

I will admit that I entertained both of those thoughts, sometimes for long periods. However, wise friends and a faithful companion inspired me to exhibit patience. To wait for the Lord’s direction, light, and comfort.

I waited.

And waited.

Three years later, I read the chapter in Alma in the Book of Mormon from which I’ve taken the title of this book, Alma 20. For the first time, I felt comfort and communication directly on the questions I had ineffectively buried in my soul. Over the next two years, in bits and pieces, additional truth and knowledge came to me. You will find, in this book, that none of that knowledge spoke directly about gay marriage, homosexuality, or for that matter, the priesthood ban, women and priesthood, difficult moments of church history, or idiosyncrasies in the texts of the Restoration.

Instead, the light and knowledge I slowly received taught me about my relationship with a prophet of God. I learned that it is not enough raise your hand every 3 – 6 months in mechanical devotion. Nor is it enough to teach your children the names of the prophets. The relationship between a child of God and God’s living mouthpiece is complex and beautiful, requiring an attitude patterned off how we must interact with our Savior and Father in heaven. I hope to show you some small piece of that.

I close this introductory preface with my own testimony. I sustain President Thomas S. Monson as prophet, seer, and revelator and as the representative of Jesus Christ on earth in these latter days. I sustain him unequivocally, and I will support those who succeed him in the same way. I support the church he administers and ministers to steadfastly, I try, in my own small way, to follow his example of spiritual preparedness and service. I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only true-and-living church on the face of the earth because I know President Monson is a prophet of God. That knowledge buoys my testimony that Joseph Smith was also a prophet, as were the men who followed him, from Brigham Young to the present day. I know the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. Perhaps most appropriately, it is through studying the Book of Mormon along with the Bible that I have slowly come to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, who lives. He suffered for our trespasses and rose from the dead, not for his own glory, but so that he could glorify the Father by leading us towards that sacred success of our return to heavenly glory.

The theology of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is profound. The teachings sublime. The history inspiring and sometimes troubling. The application of principles confusing. The leadership imperfect. But the leadership is also inspired. The application of principles taught by this church is the most perfecting thing any of us can do with our lives. Learning the history of the Church will give us a sense of the humanity of the men and women who have gone before us, which should increase, not decrease, our compassion and witness of the restored gospel’s truth. As such, we must dedicate ourselves to teaching the principles of the gospels that make up such an awesome and cosmic tableau of universal meaning.

What follows is 100% my own imperfect understanding. I don't speak for the church, globally or locally. Just for myself. But I share my understanding with you with the best of intentions, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.